Welcome to the world of
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2004
If by some chance you have been selected to appear on this page
then you have friends that intend to roast your *** to a new level !!!
MURPHY gets to give Mike another shot for the 2nd year in a row.
Well it didn't take long last season for these two to get at it again. I mean Murphy is usually being his smiling self, happy-go-lucky, talking with us other bass fishermen and then Mike
has to walk up, stick his fingers in the sweaty arm pits of that shirt he wears every week and make all these outrageous comments about how Murphy
should just leave his boat in the parking lot or read the fishing lessons section of Mike's latest book, which he still has three copies of the four he published sitting on the dusty backroom shelf at Tappan Marina since 1991! Then Mike started rambling on about how he figured Murphy got lucky last year and outfished him
only because Mike said his partner couldn't get the net. We're sorry Mike talks about ya like that Rich !
Well that kinda stunned us all a bit, but nothing out of the ordinary for Mike, ya'll know that!
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Man, Murphy looked over his glasses and gave Mike a stare that warmed my cold coffee to a boil and said, "Mike, ya gotta catch a bass before anybody can get the net son!" "And furthermore son, you should try using the ramp to put your boat in the lake instead of dragging the thing over all that riprap! That way you might be able to use your livewell pump for what is was designed for instead of a bilge pump. Murphy continued giving Mike some more advice and many of us were taking notes by now with all this free information being tossed around. Murphy said,"Mike my boy, ya gotta spend some part of the day wetting a line instead of driving around eating all those leftover moldy sandwiches from last weeks tournament while you look for swirls on the surface hoping something may hit one of those rusted out, barbless, skirtless buzzbaits that ya left laying in the bottom of your boat for three years and take it easy on the superglue boy.! That stuff ain't supposed to be used to hold that slimy meat on your sandwich or glue the sugar top back on your hostess cupcake!" "Also when ya want salt flavored worms, give Rich a break and stop throwing them in his bag of doritos when he ain't looking!" So Murphy took a long slow breath, folded his arms ( we guess so he didn't have to shake Mike's fish formula smelling hands) and asked, "Now what's on your mind son"? We all thought that was nice of Murphy to treat Mike so decently and give him free advice. You'd think Mike would've been gratefull at least, but Mike had more to say, as usual. Mike says, "don't worry yourself about my livewell pump". "I have some aquarium hose hooked up to the exhuast port on my motor and the faster we drive around the more bubbles go into the livewell. I've got pictures of me & Rich driving around for hours at a time". FOLKS---I know he ain't lying about that because I'm the one that took the photos and will put a few at the bottom of this page. I heard he sent copies out as xmas cards this year. Well Mike was getting a little fired up about his skills as a bass fisherman and how he could make a living at it, buy a new house, car, condominium in Florida and a nice garage to park his boat in (the riprap boat). Mike said "as a matter of fact, I can take your money here today Murphy, but ya'll probaly scared enough to make up some fragile excuse to get out of it." "So come on big boy, ya got it in ya to make a wager with me?" This is where I stepped in and asked if they mind if we make it official and set it up to go on the web site, with pictures and all. They agreed to a five dollar bet, and a place on the Gotcha page. Mike had this wild crazy grin on his face while lighting up two cigarrettes one of which we thought he may offer to Murphy as a friendship gesture, but...he smoked them both at the same time. Mike turned around, mumbling something as he walked away. Sounded like he was saying "See ya at the weigh-in or it's gonna be a shitty weigh-in," we're not sure. We often wonder what gets into Mike's head that makes him think he is ever going to out fish Murphy. Murphy tells us it is probably those cigarrettes he rolls from the leftovers in the parking lot blended with a little second hand used up skoal from the wrotted out carpet in his boat. Before the blast off I managed to get a photo of Mike staring at the lake in bewilderment while Rich & Murphy were walking up behind him. Rich was saying something to Murphy about how he sprayed Mikes tubes with "doe in heat" to get back at him for ruining his pretzels with those worms. I knew this was going to be one heck of a day...keep reading, you'll see! The weigh-in was a huge disappointment for Mike. HE managed to bring a borderline keeper to the scales. Well the fact is, I think it jumped into the boat when that big ol buck came a crashing out of the woods and dove into the water with a big splash while chasing those doe in heat tubes he was a throwing. Never seen a man that happy in all my life. Now poor Rich was a hanging on, for dear life, but managed to roll over on top of that bass so it wouldn't jump out. Meanwhile Mike was a beating that buck on the head with his wimpy flippin stick and finally broke off that stinking tube in the bucks lip. That poor animal turned and ran back towards the woods a snortin and wheezing. That was quite a show and I was a laughing so hard I couldn't get a picture. So Ya''ll can figure that Mike didn't win the bet. Murphy cleaned him real good. So the $5.00 award goes to Murphy again for the 2004 season along with the complete right to roast Mike to a new level. Enjoy the pictures below and the captions. I can hardly wait till next year. Ya'll know Mike has been studying his mistakes from last year all this winter and will try it again. Well here is a couple photos taken early that morning before the blast off. There were some things no one would ever believed without a picture! use your back button to return.
(Click on a photo for a larger view)
Here's one more for the road! 
YOURS TRULY, Murphy |
